Liber Magick

Saturn, Holy Wanderer Saturn the stern mother who sets limits Who says, no more This you can do but no more. Face your mortality, your numbered days And live. Live within the constraints, the structure of the sonnet, And in that structure, be free, say what you will. Give up the impossible. The mind struggles with unseen obstacles Before it gives in Accepting what is. Time of limitations The hard lessons define the edges of the path. Between young and old, at the midpoint, at the crossroads, Seeking the treasure, always hidden and yet always present. Right here, at my feet. Where else could it be?

Thundering sky god, dropping down like lightning into our presence– Distant, full of anger, Holder of the deadly fire, snapping the leather belt in your hand, The rod to enforce your will. Non-nurturer, unable to feed even yourself, Requiring much propitiation. Narcissus with a mirror, loving what you see, Pining away for some distant land, for accolades– Wearer of masks, Jovial public faces– Small, trembling in the storm gale, Afraid of life, of chances, of mistakes. Bodhisattva says, Just another…

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The day after you died I ate nothing– The world, my world, every inch of it Had shifted subtly, irrevocably one half inch to the right It looked the same, but forever changed– All day, distracted by an almost-sound, almost within my hearing, By an almost-glimpse of something just out of sight The very first time since my very first breath In a world without you alive in it. I burned a white candle, offered the water, Bade you move…

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The times you lifted me up From the carpeted floor Where I lay pretending to sleep So you would carry me Sleeping-­child­-weight To my bed­­– Tuck me in, safe from the storm. The times we drove out together Just you and I, front seat pick­up, No seat belts, just you and I­­ Escaping together giggling. The time I wrapped my legs around Your strong waist, in the blood-­warm Gulf waters­­ I laid my head back, floating, Secure in your anchor,…

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